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Denile, not the river!!!
By J
Ok, so I know my GF get PMS and she doesn't think that it affects her, but I can notice some definite mood swings and irritability. Then when I bring up that I think an argument or mean comment she make is caused by it she gets mad all over again. When I all I simply say is that normally I don't think she would have said something like that or say what she said really "bitchy" like. How can I get her to realize that this isn't how she normally is. We communicate really good, so I just want to be able to sit and talk about it. I just don't understand why she won't admit that it has an affect on her.
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She's not crazy By K @ 11/18/09 2:33:56 PM
We never like to admit we're wrong. I'd suggest talking to her when shes not on her period, in a non-invasive manner. And don't forget, she might be taking your comments as asshole-ish too.
Everyone's affected differently By C @ 12/15/09 1:10:56 PM
In my experience all women are affected differently by their periods. Sometimes i'm really moody and flip out over the smallest things and sometimes I simply get depressed and want to be alone. I can tell you that when I do flip out it's usually over things that bug me all month long but I don't feel it's a big enough deal to say anything about the rest of the month. What I'm trying to say is that if she's saying things she wouldn't normally say it may be that she doesn't mean it at all or it may be that it's something that's always bothering her, she just doesn't have the gumption to say anything about it the rest of the month. The best way to find out what it is, is wait till a couple days after her period is over, start off with a big kiss and hug and specifically tell her that you are not trying to pick a fight you just want to know what is going on with her and why she says what she says. Definitely DO NOT use the word "bitch" anywhere near this conversation, even if not directed at her it is the type of word that causes women to close up simply by hearing it pass your lips. Hopefully she'll open up and give you a rational answer, if you're really lucky she might even give you pointers on how to deal with her in future PMS times, thus making both your lives a little easier.
Don't go there Mr... By Schelli @ 12/28/09 5:39:09 PM
If I know one thing for sure, it's .... NEVER blame her mood on PMS (even if it's clearly 100% true).
Until the day men start to bleed out of their privates every four weeks, have hormonal mood swings and can carry and deliver an 8lbs child from their loins... they have absolutely NO SAY in the matter whatsoever!!!!
If you think you are suffering having to put up with the bitchiness, just try to imagine how we feel. We don't want to acknowledge it to you, discuss it or 'work around' it. We just want to be left alone!!! If your partner is clearly PMSing, DO NOT ENGAGE, ignore it, keep you're head down, don't make eye contact and above all, DON"T TRY TO HELP or be UNDERSTANDING!!!! Just let us snap, bitch, cry, hundle under the blanket on the couch and OD on chocolate if that's what we want to do! But don't ever for a minute think you can understand, or that we are not behaving fair.... COME ON!!!!
try 2 understand By bluejay @ 1/7/10 2:47:36 PM
U dont know wat we have to go thru .
wen i get cramps, i scream like a psycho!!
lik i am being stabbed over and over again and having lemon juice poured into the wound at the same time.
u sound like a bf who really cares about his gf and thats good. but wen she acts biotchy , try 2 understand how she feels.
and UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES< CALL HER A BITCH.
she will FREAK!!!!!!!!!!
trust me!!
just let her take it out on something until she comes down.
If that something is you, i suggest you take it in silence.
this is a very stressful situation for women everywhere.
And although i do not know you, i am pretty sure you do not get a period.
Anyway, chillax!!
It only lasts from 3-8 days.
you can wait that long can't you?
I agree totally By A.L.lover @ 1/12/10 3:11:02 PM
I agree with Schelli because this is completely true
men can try and try
but they will never know the burden they call menstruation.
remember your GF is going through pain and feels like she could just commit suicide
so she cares little about what you think
she likes/loves you, but she is in a difficult painful time
and you should at this time make her feel beautiful and loved
because you have no idea how much it means to us (us being women) when a guy makes you feel good or compliments you
just holding the door or giving her a hufg just makes her day
I'm not your whipping boy By Moericke @ 1/20/10 10:35:47 AM
@ Schelli and Bluejay...just because you are PMSing doesn't give you the right to walk all over and be abusive to your man. Men get sick and hurt occasionally and It's unacceptable for us to take it out on a woman just because we're in pain. It works both ways, you don't get a pass just because it's every 28 days. Grow up and start acting like an adult.
that is my sis By DG Luver/A.L.lover @ 1/21/10 2:44:42 PM
No one talks to bluejay lioke that
she is my SIS
so YOU grow up
as the AWESOME Schelli said
Until the day men start to bleed out of their privates every four weeks, have hormonal mood swings and can carry and deliver an 8lbs child from their loins... they have absolutely NO SAY in the matter whatsoever!!!!
If you think you are suffering having to put up with the bitchiness, just try to imagine how we feel. We don't want to acknowledge it to you, discuss it or 'work around' it. We just want to be left alone!!! If your partner is clearly PMSing, DO NOT ENGAGE, ignore it, keep you're head down, don't make eye contact and above all, DON"T TRY TO HELP or be UNDERSTANDING!!!! Just let us snap, bitch, cry, hundle under the blanket on the couch and OD on chocolate if that's what we want to do! But don't ever for a minute think you can understand, or that we are not behaving fair.... COME ON!!!!
SHE rocks
By @ 1/31/10 2:05:23 PM
aha,
I thinkk Schelli's on her period :)
i totally agree w/ schelli By bluejay @ 2/13/10 12:38:33 PM
ditto subject ;)
You don't have an excuse anymore! By Dave @ 3/7/10 2:08:31 PM
100 years ago you had an excuse. Today, you have many modern medicines to try. My wife is claims that she doesn't have a PMS problem, even when I show her the PMS Buddy reminder emails and how they exactly line up with our arguments. She won't try medicines, because she thinks that she doesn't have a problem...just like an alcoholic. She won't try any type of happy pill, yet she has 2 of my 3 kids, and me on medicine for A.D.D and ADHD...talk about a hypocrite! Unless you have tried all of the "happy pills" out on the market today, then you don't have an excuse. If you have tried them all, and they don't help, then you DO have an excuse, and we men should do exactly as you say.
uh, are you DENSE ? By angie @ 4/10/10 6:24:10 PM
Medicine for mood swings probably won't work and might make her sick and if you have ADD then well, ?. It's her period. Bear with it. Treat her like a goddess, then she will be happier. trust me.Just be accepting
um, dave? By nat @ 4/14/10 5:41:05 PM
there is no such thing as "happy pills" for PMS, nor are there healthy options for period elimination. for example, depo-provera is form of birth control that eliminates your period - sounds great in theory, but just do a google search for "depo provera reviews" and you'll see it causes anxiety, depression, weight gain, and driven many women to the edge of their sanity. (3 months of hormones pumped into your body is bound to have negative side effects.)
comparing medication for ADD to birth control or "happy pills" is fundamentally unfair. there is no such thing as an automatic fix to PMS or to one's period. so yes, even though it's the year 2010, women still have an '"excuse." it's called mother nature. i find your comments to be rude and insensitive. i and other women shouldn't have to apologize or medicate for simply for being born women.
Duck and cover By Tread softly @ 4/17/10 9:27:07 AM
I hate to say that after 16 years of marriage I know when it is time to enter the air raid shelter and wait a few days for the all clear. At some times it feels like a high stakes game where one slip up is all it takes to ruin a day. Still many are the times where I don't realize 'what time of the month' it is and mistakenly and stupidly take offense to a a criticism that is particularly mean. I'm much better at avoiding these kinds of mistakes but it was really a problem for maybe the first 10 years or so.
Dave, you're an idiot By S @ 4/27/10 8:30:47 PM
Dave. I understand that you're frustrated. But please understand, it's not picnic to have your period. Some of us even faint or puke. If you knew how it felt, you damn sure feel that you had an excuse. If you ever want a lasting, positive relationship, try pretending it doesn't exist. Or bringing home chocolates when PMSBuddy warns you. You'll be a lot happier.
And J? DOn't say the word bitch. Ever. Maybe she does act different and if so, she'd probably be cool with you not mentioning that she is PMSing. Just be extra nice that week. It won't hurt.
???? By Really @ 5/11/10 9:03:28 AM
So, next time I get hurt or when I am hurting, she should bring me home chocolates and pamper me? I think it's over done a bit much, you all have to realize at least a little bit that you are in a bad mood.
Crap By IAN FRANCIS @ 6/27/10 9:12:01 AM
Oh for fucks sake, the first guy was just saying she wont accept there IS a problem! No-one said it wasn't understandable, no-one said pills are a magic answer, he's just trying to get her on the first step to admitting there IS a problem, which all those women above - who should not BE here ffs, this is a help site for MEN - have already admitted!
Place blame By E W @ 8/23/10 11:37:48 AM
Like asking directions, men just can't except that they are just at fault. So placing blame is what men do best at. Of course, placing blame on the girl is the best escape... better yet blame her hormones. That way it's not a Personal attack, and it can't be disproven.
Go ahead blame PMS... But when it's all said and done.. We still gotcha by the balls :-)
Lucky By Me @ 11/5/11 2:24:16 PM
I have been fairly lucky in some ways. I grew up in a house full of women of varying ages and PMS severity. My exposure to the phenomina started early. I have dated women who had hysterectomies (Personal choice--ie family history of uterine cancer and desire to avoid the pain and death) My last GF aknowledged she could be hard to deal with as that her period approached. I am not unsympathertic especially since the emergency C-Section she had before we met left scar tissue that made a once only mildly bothersome period into cramps from hell and puking. I did what I could to help her with this time, but fortunately she never took anything out on me. Hot packs seemed to help a lot. One thing I did invest in was an app on my phone called menstual tracker. That way I always knew when to expect the symptoms to begin. How one deals with what's going on with her body, I think takes a lot of honesty on both sides. NO we will never have PMS but YES some women can be hard to deal with during this time. NO I don't think we should be callous toward what she is going through, But NO I don't think we should be chewed on either. It's an issue two people have to work on, and with, together. Biology is going to do what it will do. Someone could decide to hand out blame all day to this or that side, but that, to me, points to issues not related to PMS. Just my 2 cents.